[sticky entry] Sticky: About this Space

Sep. 5th, 2017 10:33 am
ofearthandstars: A picture of a lotus and lilypads. (lotus)
Hi, I'm Grey! I'm a 34 year old environmental scientist who's passionate about science, astronomy, math, and all manner of nerdery. I'm also into voluntary simplicity and green living. I'm vegan, although the rest of my family is not. I'm currently trying to reintegrate yoga into my life, enjoying road/trail cycling, and am training to run a 10K.

I'm also a voracious reader and an occasional writer. I have a fondness for poetry. I'm not hugely fannish but my guilty pleasures are Defiance, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Adventure Time, and Person of Interest. I have great geek love for Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Cinematic Titanic, Rifftrax, and terrible Syfy Original Movies. I'm a fan of Welcome to Night Vale because we all know that mountains are not real. I am, on top of all that, a mother of three boys (ages 12, 13, and 16), and a partner to an excellent nerdy and handsome gentlemen who happens to be my best friend of 15+ years.

This is a Day-in-the-Life journal; more measured posts may happen but my brain is usually not that organized. I write here a lot about my family, particularly parenting my three boys, including one child who has been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar NOS. (I keep most of the specifics of this on a filter for our privacy.) I also write about my own depression from time to time, but I'm honestly trying to focus on all of the above, and living a joyful life.

With these considerations, this journal is largely access-only. All protected content is confidential and may not be shared or reposted without permission. (I don't mind sharing of public posts, but a heads-up would be nice).

That said, I don't have a strict access/subscribing policy and I love interaction. If you'd like access, please leave a comment below. If you're here from Livejournal or another blogging site and would like access or to leave comments, here are instructions for creating an Open ID.
ofearthandstars: View of starry night through treetops (Default)
"The thing I think we have to remember is that there is no finish line with depression, anxiety, or any other sort of mental illness. We’re on this path, and the path is constantly changing. Sometimes it’s flat and well-marked, and we can see all the way to the horizon....Other times, it’s so heavily shrouded in fog and mist, we can’t even see past our fingertips and we need someone to show us where the path is. And sometimes, we come to a wall that we don’t think we’ll ever get over. I’ve been staring at the base of that wall for weeks, and just now you helped me remember that there are always handholds to get up and over it."

-Tears in Rain, from wilwheaton.net


Aug. 9th, 2015 02:39 pm
ofearthandstars: (Avocado)
So my partner, L., has really fantastically taken over the cooking since it's been difficult for me to stand around the kitchen with all my weight on one leg and trying to carry plates/etc. with crutches in hand. He decided to not only cook, but to pull together what he called a "Vegan Around the World" menu that we've been enjoying. He's done the shopping, the prep work, and even come to the table armed with a few facts about each country/region the dish represents.

Here's the stuff we had last week:

Tonight I think we're going with General Tso's Tofu since we just finished watching The Search for General Tso.

I decided to help do some of the searching for the coming week and this is what we have for the que (am updating w/ reviews as we work through!):

Sure, many of these (especially having been veganized) may be more of an Americanized version, but I also tried to find traditional dishes that were "accidentally" vegan.

Now I am very hungry. And excited about dinner.
ofearthandstars: View of starry night through treetops (Default)
[personal profile] rainbow could use a little help with funds to help cover vet bills for kitty Jack. GoFundMe w/ rewards linked here.
ofearthandstars: View of starry night through treetops (Default)
Don't mind me, just meal planning for the week...
I think that is a good mix of good-for-your-body and good-for-your-soul. (Who am I kidding? The Pizza Buns are far from healthy but soooo good!)
ofearthandstars: A cup of tea. (tea)
Occasionally I wish there were a way to "favorite" DW posts to come back to them to read later. I realize there's both a) tabs in my browser window and b) the "memories" feature, but I occasionally wish I could do something similar to what I do with Twitter, which is to pin stuff I might not have time to read on the run and then come back to it later, where I can see all the pinned posts on a single page.

Tabs don't work well for that because I'd have 40,000 tabs open. Also, I read across multiple devices, and the tabs don't always sync up between devices based on the browswer. OneTab, which at least condenses everything to a single tab, doesn't really sync across browsers, either.

"Memories" is okay, except I like to keep "memories" more tailored towards, well, just that - stuff that you like so much that you want to keep it around forever and ever, and not just stuff that I want to set aside for a little bit.

I realize it's probably completely unworkable, but I can dream.
ofearthandstars: View of starry night through treetops (Default)
Bree Newsome is a total badass. I just watch this video and I cry and I laugh and I think this is the most beautiful piece of civil disobedience I've seen in a long time.

And also her statement:

ofearthandstars: A cartoon drawing of Fiona and Cake (Adventure Time) (fiona & cake)
*jumps up and down and cries and laughs and skips around the yard*

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.

--Justice Anthony Kennedy, June 26, 2015
ofearthandstars: (Avocado)
A little planning/jotting down - I bought a bunch of ingredients to make things, but I'm starting to forget what I wanted to make! Terrible, terrible planning this week.

-Peach Salad w/ Chipotle-Maple Dressing
-Spiced Sweet Potato Hummus
-Baba Ganoush with Roasted Veggies
-Thai Chickpea Almond Curry
-Chocolate Cherry Black Forest Smoothie and Pineapple, Mango, Banana, and Kale Smoothie
-Broccoli Fritters
-Pizza Potato Skins
-This is probably too much work and I'll never actually do it, but these ice cream snickers cakes

Also, I think I may have shared this in the past, but if not, don't be afraid to try these Chipotle Not-Chicken Salad Wraps. The salad comes together very quickly and is good by itself (though I love in the collard leaves, too.) Let me rephrase - it is fucking magical. I am a little addicted to it.

With all that in mind, it seems appropriate to share this awesome post from Shakesville: A Letter about Food and Judgement.
ofearthandstars: Me facing sunset at the ocean in Maui (sunset at Makena)
It feels like it's been several months (or maybe longer) since I've felt like, well, me. Despite the fact that I am actually a pretty positive/optimistic person and despite the fact that I'm mostly happy with my life (still want a house of my own, and maybe a change in job scenery, but not nearly motivated enough to do either of those things) - I often feel like I'm drowning under the anxiety and the negative voices. It's not so much that I feel depressed (although during particularly stressful times, or my favorite hormonal times, I sometimes do), but it's just that I don't always know who I am (or who I'm trying to be) anymore.

There are little things that add to it - the weight I seemed to have not-so-mysteriously put on, the terrible haircut that, even having grown out a bit, just does not feel like me, continuously losing the crap fight against my skin - I don't feel very attractive. And at other times, it's that I don't feel interesting - I've always suffered from the idea that I'm just not a creative, naturally talented and/or artistic person. I haven't picked up my guitar in ages. I worry that sometimes my ideas are just a mimicry of other opinions. Then there's the health crap - my stupid hip, which has been bothering me for almost two months and which I am sick of complaining about but which has pretty much taken one of my few releases from me; my inability to sleep through a night without interruption. Everything feels very mediocre, very not-good-enough.

I imagine that many people feel this way, and have to deal with a sort of clawing self-doubt that eats away at their happiness. I think what bothers me is that these feelings have been lingering a while. They often let up for a bit, as I find new things to amuse me and focus on those and the priorities. But I also worry that I've sort of accepted these self-criticisms and seem to be procrastinating on doing things that might make me feel better about myself. It's not that I don't practice self-care - I do, but it's mostly of the "have to have to get by" variety. I don't spoil myself in ways that count, but rather I make excuses of why a certain item/action will help lift my mood in a rather chaotic way. I keep thinking that there are things I could do to address my feeling unattractive; there are things I can do to exercise to gain some sanity (like cycling, if I can overcome the bike seat issues); there are things I can practice to try to challenge myself creatively.

But I'm just... exhausted. Not in a physical way. I have plenty of energy and am grateful for my health. It's more that ... I'm stuck in a sort of mental limbo of being where I don't know what comes next. So I'm just swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. Which is okay, because sometimes when life is unpredictable or tumultuous, you need a good period of downtime and stability. But everything feels stale and kind of crummy, and I don't know what to do with that. I want to feel alive and passionate and interesting and sexy and fun and loveable and exciting. (And I know that I have people in my life that will tell me I am all of those things, which I am grateful for, but there's also the need to feel it on my own.) I don't know how to get myself to the point where I feel those things, where I have that confidence in myself again.

Maybe I need to set some goals, to find time to play, or just to sit and think about what it is I want to be doing with my time. I know I'm okay where I am, I just can't help but think that somewhere a better world is lurking.

"The Knowledge That...

...the atoms that comprise life on earth - the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars- the high mass ones among them- went unstable in their later years- they collapsed and then exploded- scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy- guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems- stars with orbiting planets. And those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky, and I know that yes we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the universe is in us.”

― Neil deGrasse Tyson


Layout Artists:
Base style: Crisped by [personal profile] timeasmymeasure
Theme: Floral Pastels by [community profile] flatlanders
Header Photo: Jason Ahrns

August 2015

234567 8
30 31