The Truth Is, I am Probably Going to Regret This

[ofearthandstars]

It seems my pens are rusty - or is it my keyboard is creaky? I have a stack of notebooks that have been sitting and mocking me, daring me to venture beyond morning pages or the occasional writing group prompt or hastily scribbled notes for work. (And you didn't hear it from me, but my handwriting is atrocious - the number of words lost simply because they were jotted in a caffeine-fueled panic could potentially have been published into a short novel by now - no, wait, that's not true - I have a huge fear of putting my work out there, because every time I look back, I cringe at what came before.)

But if there is anything I have learned in the last year of my life, there is nothing like taking a good, hard, honest look at yourself - flaws and all - and realizing there is something to honoring the voice that spills out and the soul rushing forward to touch and experience the world, even if it is messy, or ugly, or shamed, or chatteringly happy, or jubilant, or awkwardly giggling for no reason, or just sitting, relentlessly hopeful, where the stream flows over the rocks.

This is a slightly dramatic but mostly unserious way to declare my intent to play in therealljidol. It is the 20th anniversary, so it seems I should at least show up. (Does anyone know an appropriate gift for this sort of thing? I just have this dusty old pair of boots, but not quite sure clauderainsrm has a use for those anymore.)

The sign-up sheet is here, for those inclined to join the revelry.

P.S. I 100% have absolutely no actual time for this. But the notebooks are taunting me.

Comments

[drippedonpaper]

I am glad you will join :)

[ofearthandstars]

Thanks for the encouragement. To think, we may not have met if not for this crazy competition!

[muchtooarrogant]

H'm, I've never been taunted by a notebook before, is it bad? (grin)

One thing I'll share is that at the beginning of every season I feel rusty, unpracticed, and doubtful that I'll ever be able to write another coherent phrase again. And yet, somehow I always do. For one thing, the total randomness of the weekly prompts is great because it breaks you out of those well-worn writing tracks I think we all fall prey to.

Anyway, best of luck to you this season, and I'll be looking forward to reading your entries!

Dan

[ofearthandstars]

The perfection of a brand-new, uncreased, unmarked notebook with its perfect blank pages is always taunting me with the possibilities of what could be - you know, if I'd actually commit.

Those feelings are definitely where I am at now. And while I appreciate some of my older Idol pieces, I also cringe at many of them. But writing, at its heart, is about connection and creation and storytelling, and I do want that.

Best of luck to you as well! ♥ Given the intensity of my work schedule, I don't expect to last very long, but I hope to at least write a few un-cringey pieces.

[bleodswean]

I think this is a solid decision, m'dear.

[ofearthandstars]

I have caved to the peer pressure! And am glad to see you in the sign-ups. ♥ Committing to more writing in the midst of all the chaos can't be too bad, can it?

[bsgsix]

I'm really happy that you'll be coming back; I've missed your writing, your musings, and YOU, friend. It's been far too long, and though life has been busy, I think joining up is wonderful. I'm thrilled to write alongside you once again, love! <3

[ofearthandstars]

I'm so glad you're back as well! I feel like LJ/DW is very quiet space when Idol is quiet, and I wonder if everyone is okay. It sounds like you have been through so very much the last few years, but are coming out on the side of optimism and hope. ♥ I look forward to reading your entries and catching up!

[bsgsix]

Thank you, love! The space seems to have been quiet (I had read through a few pages before Idol started back up, and saw maybe - 15 entries a week?), but I'm happy to see people still writing and existing here. You are a wonderful friend and writer, and we'll have a great season together - and hopefully connect/reconnect very soon! I'm looking forward to it as well! <3