Sad day.

Oct. 9th, 2015 09:12 pm
ofearthandstars: Paper cranes hanging from a blue ceiling (cranes)
This morning it sort of felt like I'd jumped off the great big cliff of anxiety and into the canyons of depression. In hindsight, I am probably grieving.

A few days ago we noticed that one of our hamster babies, Mini, was feeling a bit heavier. By Wednesday night I noticed that she had a severely swollen belly. I took her to a Banfield vet in Wake Forest yesterday and they were able to establish that her heart and lungs were healthy, but they recommended us to a different vet b/c they did not have the tools to make a true diagnosis. So this morning I drove Mini up to Avian & Exotic Animal Care in Raleigh, where they were able to get an x-ray and see what was going on in her tiny abdomen. (She was sedated for this because her although her first favorite past time is sleeping, her second is running.)

The news was not good. Based on the films and a more thorough abdominal exam (easier when a hammie is asleep), we're pretty certain that Mini has a tumor/mass on her liver. It's probably been there for some time, but it's likely only recently began growing more rapidly and encroaching on her other organs.

At this point, there is not a lot that can be done for her that is curative. That said, we have some medications and supplements that we will be giving her to help her quality of life (she is currently, for the most part, still eating/drinking and coming out to engage with us/obtain treats, although she is much slower and has a harder time carrying herself around). Although the medications we have will help manage her pain/swelling, it is anticipated that the tumor will progress.

I know it may seem a bit crazy to be so enamored with such a tiny creature, but we don't have dogs or cats or other pets. Our hamsters are our furbabies. We spoil them and they in turn spoil us with their affection and adorableness. Mini has only been around for a couple of years, but she is a most precious part of my life. Holding a sweet hammie after a long day at work or having one snuggle up against you to fall asleep (as seen here) is pretty good therapy, and she never seems to mind it, either.

I cannot begin to tell you how sad I am.

ofearthandstars: Colorfully drawn hearts in sidewalk chalk. (chalk hearts)
+ Today was my first run in many weeks! I wrote words about it in [community profile] c25k. I am encouraged, but still feeling cautious, because this is one of the slowest-healing injuries I've had.

+ Mini's toe continues to look better and is MUCH closer to approaching hammie-size. I am overjoyed. She is over-joyed when I share my kale with her after she takes her medicine. I'm pretty sure that's *bonding*.

+ Which reminds me, L. awesomely shared this video with me, which has me convinced we *must* make tiny cakes for the hammies on their birthday.

+ I made this dish for supper tonight using some of the basil I'm growing. Honestly, the boys were not all that enthusiastic about it, but being a basil-and-pesto lover, I ate 2 big plates and saved all the leftovers. I thought it was nom(!), I just worry about whether the avocado in the dressing will brown in the fridge before lunch tomorrow (avocados, I love you, but you do not last long in your glory).

+ I am trying to post less on Facebook and more on DW/LJ. You may have noticed. Facebook is useful for keeping up with a certain subset of friends, but I really like it here better. I'm sorry. No, wait, I'm not.

+ Which reminds me, tonight Oldest said to me, "Do you know what I'm tired of? HASHTAGS! They are everywhere!" I kinda-sorta agree with him. In other Oldest news, he is applying for a job and today learned that he is definitely enrolled in college courses at the community college this fall. The school asked a select group of students if they would participate in a program in which the college is partnering with the high school and offering select courses to be taught at the school (and some on the community college campus). At the time it wasn't clear that there would be enough interest for the program to pan out, but apparently, there was. So, huzzah! He can earn college credits starting in his junior year. The only downside is that the first classes are English/Writing classes, which is his weak spot (he is much more a math/science/engineering kid). But hey, maybe it'll be good for him. Also, OMG WHY IS HE GROWING UP ALL IN ONE WEEK?!?!

+ I became a lemming and bought a copy of Choosing Raw, which has been reviewed everywhere I turn. (Uhm, yeah, I read a lot of vegan blogs - the food is good, okay?) I am not a raw foodist by any means, although my breakfast (smoothie) and lunch (big salad + fruit) tend to be raw, and I have been ALL ABOUT collard wraps lately, so I was intrigued and oohhed and ahhed by the recipes and photographs. I also found Gena's approach, which is very moderate and not a YOU-MUST-EAT-COLD-RAW-THINGS-ALL-DAY-LONG approach, to be likeable. She did not expect me to run out and buy a dehydrator or spiralizer (although I am eyeing the spiralizer, oh yes I am).

+ Work is okay. People have been very supportive. Today I got out a big deliverable. I'm gonna make it, yes I am.

"The Knowledge That...

...the atoms that comprise life on earth - the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars- the high mass ones among them- went unstable in their later years- they collapsed and then exploded- scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy- guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems- stars with orbiting planets. And those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky, and I know that yes we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the universe is in us.”

― Neil deGrasse Tyson

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